To Daniel, Who is Six Today

Posted in birthday on June 21st, 2010

Some number of years from now, you’ll come to understand why I didn’t get around to writing your birthday letter last year. Suffice it to say that moving was not incredibly conducive to sitting down and composing thoughts. Nevertheless, I am resolving to continue with the birthday letter blog posts, because I hope they will provide a different sort of snapshot in time than mere pictures.

Today you are six, old enough for First Grade, which in some countries (and even some states) is when Real School begins. You’ve been telling everyone who will listen that your birthday was approaching, and that you you would be six years old on “June twenty-one.” It’s cute, and it’s clear you have been really anticipating the day. We had a party for you yesterday, pretty standard stuff: balloons, pizza, the carrot cake you picked out, neighbors, and gifts.

Anyway, what’s been going on over the last year? Well, like I wrote to your brother earlier, we moved a couple of times, but only one of those was a Move (with a capital M): the move to the DC area from Texas. I think this affected you greatly, and you occasionally mention how you miss Texas, or how you miss the “big house with the stairs” or the neighbors. But it’s not been all bad, as you’ve discovered so many new things here (see below).

Developmentally, you have shown yourself to be a capable student, one who nonetheless likes to squander his time in school, choosing up front fun (and attendant trouble) over delayed choice of free time activities. Sometimes you even have to take work home to complete it (which you complain about). You like the library, and usually have books from both the school library and the public one. I read to you every weekday lately, and we’ve moved on to bulkier chapter books. Over the course of the year we’ve managed to get through all of Stuart Little and even Trumpet of the Swan. I’ve read you stories about King Arthur (you liked that the knights “fell off their horses”), some selections from Grimm’s Fairy Tales, and various bits of poetry. We’ve tried some Twain as well, though The Prince and the Pauper was vocally taxing for me. You don’t read on your own yet, but I can see that it won’t be long before the sparks finally ignite what I hope to be, if not a lifelong love of reading, at least a lack of aversion to it. I can tell you that learning to read has been the single greatest thing I’ve ever accomplished, and I still read voraciously. What else have you been up to, development-wise? You are gaining an interest in the world around you (both the “natural” aspects and the man-made ones), and have learned over the year some ideas about “going green,” although you probably need to work on some of those, because some activities just aren’t associated with green-ness. Bugs of all kinds fascinate you, and we’ve had some moderate success in keeping you from simply squashing everything you see. I’ve tried getting you to reason out what makes one thing different from another, like when I ask you how you know you aren’t a potato. Your answers are delightful, if not always insightful (sure, many other animals have more visible fur than we do, but as you’ll undoubtedly learn later, this isn’t much of a distinction, and anyway, I am hopeful that you will come to the conclusion that people are more like other animals than many of us realize). Other things we’ve dealt with are temper tantrums (you’ve gotten much better about these, and less violent), issues of fairness and equality, and even some light introduction to issues of race (because, believe it or not, we are not now and may never be a post-racial society).

You had many other firsts over the last year: organized team sports, in which you mostly alternated between kicking a soccer ball into your own team’s goal and refusing to play at all; bike trip with me to actually do something (to the barber shop, not just recreational biking); bathed yourself and brushed and flossed your own teeth; and your first loose tooth, which is currently just that, with no real sense of when it will come out. In short, you are growing up.

Over the next year, we can look forward to more exciting and wonderful things. There are still more things in DC to explore (though you’ve enjoyed almost all of the Smithsonian museums, some of the monuments, and the reflecting pool near the Lincoln Memorial), and even in the surrounding area (another trip to Gettysburg, maybe.) You’ll be in First Grade, perhaps in the same class as our neighbor, with whose child you like to play. Whether we move again before your next birthday remains to be seen, but I can assure you that if it happens, it will be as potentially life-changing as the move here has been. But whatever happens, we will do it together as a family, so you will never be alone.

And finally, some advice.

As in the years before, watch that your temper doesn’t become a destructive force. Strong willpower can be a useful trait, but it is often a blunt instrument, and as often as not its misuse hurts the one who uses it. Watch over your brother, because he is younger than you; he looks up to you, and whether you want to or not, you are one of his role models. And always remember to respect every living thing on this planet (and any others, one day), because when it comes down to it, we all depend on each other for survival on this chunk of rock hurtling through space. Remember that I love you now and always, and I am here for you.